


may - if i fell in love with you

by woodchoc_magnum



Series: you can tell everybody this is your song [1]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Bisexual Evan "Buck" Buckley, Caring Eddie Diaz, Christopher Diaz is a National Treasure, Eddie makes a move on Buck, Evan "Buck" Buckley Loves Eddie Diaz, Falling In Love, First Dates, First Kiss, First Time, Flirting, Fluff, M/M, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Soft Eddie Diaz, and it is reciprocated, just a smidge of smut, there's a little bit of smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:34:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25086250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/woodchoc_magnum/pseuds/woodchoc_magnum
Summary: "It's not a date if Chris is here with us."At that, Buck's eyebrows flew up, and his face went pale. "A… date?"Eddie nodded, a little nervously. "Yeah. This is a date."
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Series: you can tell everybody this is your song [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1816843
Comments: 120
Kudos: 875





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So...
> 
> This was originally going to be one fic, but things got out of hand. It's now a series spanning from May to December of 2020 (post-season 3 finale). Each work is essentially a chapter in a longer story, but because each "chapter" is so long, I've decided to break it up a bit.
> 
> Please note: the pandemic does not exist for the purposes of this fic, because it bums me out, and I don't want to write about it.
> 
> Thank you to sevensoulmates for her hand-holding. <3
> 
> I hope you enjoy. :)

* * *

Technically, it started the day Eddie began work at the 118. That was when they first met, after all.

However, the unofficial beginning of their relationship was about a week after Abby briefly reappeared in Buck's life, when he agreed to meet her to talk things through. That was the day that Eddie realised that he was in love, like a lightning bolt of clarity had struck him from above.

_I don't want you to see her._

_I don't want your heart to be broken again._

_I want you._

Realistically, he should've picked up on the signs before – for the entire time he'd known Buck, it was like they were dancing around the edge of a precipice, but what was on the other side was unknown. Best friends, brothers – no, not brothers, never brothers. It was more than that; a deeper connection. Soul mates, maybe. The right person; the person he'd been looking for, the one who made him complete.

Christopher pointed out to him one day that Buck was always making things better for them – whether it was just to hang out and watch movies, or arranging an accessible skateboard, or making it so they could spend Christmas together – and Eddie had sat back and realised how true that was, and how much happier he was when Buck was around.

The question of _sexuality_ wasn't really that important – that had never been the thing holding him back. He'd been attracted to Buck right from the start, had even tried flirting with him a bit, testing the waters, but that had fizzled out because Buck was still wrapped up in Abby, and then Shannon came back. So… it was off the table.

But now it was back on the table, and he didn't see a reason not to go for it. Not when they were both single – what was the harm in trying? Their friendship was solid, but more than that – he was sure that if he made the first move, Buck would go for it. Where this uncharacteristic confidence came from he wasn't sure, but he knew _Buck_. And Buck would say yes.

He'd stewed about it while Buck was off meeting Abby. He'd been gone _all day_ , and he was supposed to text Eddie when it was done because they had plans to take Christopher to the movies and he hadn't texted, and Eddie was worried about what that meant.

And then, after 4pm, his phone buzzed. ' _All done. Jurassic Park is playing at the Roxy at 6.30. U think he's old enough?'_

Eddie was so goddamn _relieved_ to hear from him that he was texting back, ' _Yep, I think so, meet u there at 6?'_ without really considering whether Christopher was old enough. He'd seen _Jurassic Park_ when he was a kid, so he guessed it was okay?

Buck was waiting for them outside the theatre when they arrived, leaning against the wall with his legs crossed at the ankle, gazing down at his phone. He was wearing a red sweater and khakis, and he looked _good_ – happy to see them, his face lighting up.

"Hey buddy!" he greeted Christopher, dropping to his knees to enfold him in a hug. "Are you getting nervous yet? Not long to go now!"

Christopher was leaving for camp on Saturday, and Eddie was all twisted up in knots about _that._

"No, I'm _excited_ ," Christopher said to Buck, one arm around his shoulders. "We started packing today."

"I'm going to miss you so much, though," Buck said with a pout. "Who am I going to hang out with?"

Christopher laughed, looking up at Eddie. "I think you'll be okay."

Eddie ruffled his hair as Buck rose to his feet again. They locked eyes for a moment – Eddie raised his eyebrows ( _'You good?_ '), and Buck nodded, his eyes crinkling at the corners when he smiled. "Yeah, all good, Eds," Buck said easily. "Now, Chris. Are you ready to see the best movie you're ever gonna see?"

Christopher looked up at Eddie excitedly. "Really?"

Eddie nodded. "Really. But listen – this movie can get pretty scary, all right? So if you want us to leave, you just let us know."

"I'll be okay," Christopher said confidently.

"It's just a movie, and movies aren't real," Buck said, leading them towards the theatre entrance. "You're going to love it."

~

He wasn't wrong. Christopher did love it – every single second, staring at the screen with his jaw hanging open like he simply couldn't believe what he was watching. Eddie wasn't focused on the film at all, he was simply watching Christopher's reaction to it – and when he glanced at Buck, he realised that he was doing the exact same thing.

They shared a smile in the darkened cinema, as the T-Rex chased down the Jeep with an injured Jeff Goldblum sprawled on the back. Eddie let the warmth of Buck's smile wash over him, as their eyes lingered on each other. Finally Buck stretched arm across the back of the seats, around Christopher between them, and squeezed Eddie's shoulder with his hand.

He left it there, for the rest of the movie.

That meant something. They were comfortable with each other. They saw each other almost every day; had done for the last year, just about. Since after the lawsuit, anyway. Eddie had made a concerted effort to recommit to his friendship with Buck and somewhere along the way he'd gone and fallen in love with him.

Afterwards, Buck walked them back to their car, Christopher in his arms. "That was the best movie ever," Christopher said to him, his arms around Buck's neck. "That was _awesome._ "

"I knew you'd love it," Buck replied. "When you come back from camp, we'll watch the sequels, okay?"

"There's more?!"

"Oh yeah, there's more." Buck shot Eddie a smile. "We'll have a movie night at your house."

Eddie unlocked the car and opened the back passenger door. He took Christopher's crutches from Buck and laid them across the back seat, and then took Christopher out of his arms and helped him inside the car. "Buckle up," he said, patting his son's face. Once Christopher was strapped in, Buck leaned in to give him a hug.

"See you at Athena's tomorrow," he said to him. "We're going to party!"

Christopher gave an excited laugh.

Grinning, Eddie closed the back passenger door and leaned against the car. It was a warm, windy night, and he was looking forward to crawling into bed in the air-conditioning. "You've got a shift on Saturday, right?" he asked. "What are you doing at night?"

Buck shrugged. "Nothing."

"You want to do something with me?"

"Sure," Buck agreed instantly. "What do you have in mind?"

He was thinking something dumb and fun, like laser tag, but he needed to figure out where they could go to do that. "I'll think of something," he promised. "How'd it go with Abby?"

Buck shrugged. "She didn't apologise, but… I feel like I said everything I needed to say."

"So you feel good now?"

"Yeah," Buck replied, flashing him an easy smile. "Yeah, I feel good. How about you, Eds?"

Eddie found himself grinning back. "I'm always good when you're around," he replied, opening the car door. "See you tomorrow."

"Yeah, see ya," Buck replied. He sounded a little puzzled.

It was as Eddie was driving out of the car park that he realised what he'd done. He'd _flirted._ Was that flirting? It kinda felt like flirting. It was like he was shaking off the cobwebs or something – he hadn't flirted with anyone in _years._ Hadn't really been interested in anyone, but… he was interested in Buck, for sure.

~~

_What was that?_ Buck thought quizzically, sliding into his Jeep. Surely that wasn't what he thought it was – Eddie, flirting? With him? No.

No, definitely not.

He laughed, shaking his head, turning the car on. "No way," he said out loud, chuckling. "Not a chance in hell."

But then… was there a chance? They were both single; had been for years. Other than the teacher at Christopher's school, Eddie hadn't mentioned having an interest in anyone since Shannon died. And the thing with the teacher seemed to fizzle almost immediately. Eddie hadn't mentioned her since.

They did spend a lot of time together outside of work, and at work, and texting, and one night, while Eddie had been away in El Paso to see his parents, they'd stayed on the phone until the early hours of the morning, talking. Eddie said it was because he was bored, and his parents were driving him nuts… but it'd felt nice, just talking everything through.

That didn't mean anything; that was just friendship. Just two regular bros, catching up. That was all.

But… Eddie had asked him out on Saturday night, and he could read into that, like there was some kind of meaning behind the offer to do something – whatever it was they were going to do. He guessed they would go to the bar together and have a drink after his shift? What else was there?

So no, that was just… an offhand comment that Eddie probably felt stupid about, and Buck wouldn't mention it again. He'd think about it, roll it around in his brain and examine it for _meaning_ , but he wasn't going to waste too much time on it, not when it clearly meant nothing.

It _definitely_ meant nothing… unless it didn't.

In which case, _wow._

~

It was at Athena's party that he realised something funny – they all had their own little family units. Hen, Karen, Denny and Nia. Chimney and Maddie. Athena, Bobby, Michael, May and Harry.

And he was with Eddie and Christopher. He took photos with them both, hung out with Christopher and the kids and sang _Eye of the Tiger_ with Eddie by his side, one arm draped around his shoulders. They were a unit, the three of them, together, and Buck wondered when that had happened – when he'd gone from just being Buck on his own, to Buck plus Eddie & Christopher.

He went out to the back deck to sit on the railing and take a breather with a bottle of water – he'd been dancing up a storm with Hen, who kept making fun of his white boy moves. And then Eddie had leaned in behind him and said in his ear, "I'll teach you some moves to show her up, don't worry."

What did _that_ mean? It made Buck feel hot all over, and he was already sweating profusely.

The garden was where Karen found him, fanning herself with her hand. "My god Athena keeps it warm in there," she complained, taking a seat beside him. "How are you doing, Buck?"

"Yeah, good," he replied cheerfully. "You guys look happy."

"Couldn't be better," Karen said with a grin. "I thought I'd come chat to you while I can get you on your own. You've been caught up with Eddie all day."

"Well, he's my best friend," Buck replied.

Karen gave him a knowing look. "Oh, you can play coy, but you're not fooling me. I see how you two look at each other."

Buck laughed. "Well, there's nothing going on, if that's what you're asking me. I'm pretty sure Eddie is straight. He was married."

"So?"

"To a _woman_."

"Mmmhmm." Karen smirked at him. "And you? What would be your feeling if Prince Charming was to sweep you off your feet?"

"First of all, I'm Prince Charming," Buck countered, "and second of all, I wouldn't be opposed to a little feet sweeping here and there."

"If he was into it."

"Yeah, but he's not." Buck caught a glimpse of Eddie inside the house, dancing with Christopher, and couldn't help but grin.

Karen followed his gaze and said, "Boy, you've got it bad."

He shrugged. "Nah. He's straight. It's not an option."

"Why don't you just ask him the question? Say, hey hot stuff, what's your deal?"

"I'd like to thank you for the wise advice there, that's going to come in _really handy_ ," he teased, and she smacked his arm.

"You know what I mean," she said, her eyes twinkling. "It doesn't hurt to ask. No need to be all angsty about it. If he loves you but he's not interested in boning you down—"

"Okay, who's to say I would be the one being boned down?" he cut in again, as she laughed. "I would be doing the boning."

"Oh, please." She gave him a playful push. "What I'm saying is, if he's not interested, he'll think it's funny and you guys will move on. If he is interested – Buck. Sparks and slow dancing and making love by the fire—"

"Making love by the fire, what is this, a romance novel?"

"On a bear skin rug," she added, nodding suggestively at him. "Under the moonlight."

Buck grinned. "So just to be clear – we're in front of the fire, on a bearskin rug, under the moonlight—"

"Banging it out. Getting down to clown." She raised her eyebrows at him, and dropped her voice. " _Humpin'."_

He laughed loudly, cringing with embarrassment. "God, I hope this isn't how you talk to Hen."

"Where do you think I learned it from? I was chaste before she came along." Karen nudged him again. "Listen. Seriously, now – I'm being serious."

"Okay. Now it's serious."

"Don't waste your time on the ones that aren't important," she said, resting her hand on his shoulder. "Think about the people in your life who are the most important to you, and apply that to what you want in the future. Because if it's him – and I think it is – then you need to tell him."

Buck nodded, glancing over to where Eddie and Christopher were still dancing. Eddie looked out at him at the same moment, and motioned for him to come inside.

He said to her, "Okay. I will."

Karen smiled at him. "This is just between us. Hen's such a gossip. I wouldn't dream of telling her."

"But you love it when she tells you things, though," he said knowingly, sliding off the railing.

"Yeah, but it goes no further than me. I'm a closed book." Karen whacked his butt. "Go dance with your man, stud."

"Will you stop sexually harassing me?" he hissed at her, practically skipping across the deck. "Not cool. You have a PhD. Have some dignity."

She was still laughing as he went back inside. Eddie's arm slid around his shoulders as soon as he reached them, and he said in Buck's ear, "Christopher thinks you need dancing and singing lessons."

Buck let his jaw drop dramatically, as Christopher giggled. "I can't believe this. My best friend, turning on me, and the day before he goes to camp! What have I done to deserve this?"

"You'll just have to let me teach you," Eddie said to him, his eyes sparkling. "I'm a great dancer."

"I haven't seen any evidence of that here today," Buck replied archly, and when Eddie's lips pursed in mock-anger, Buck pulled out of his grasp and knelt down to pick Christopher up. "Go on then, show us," he said, Christopher wrapped around him like a koala.

Everyone was distracted, doing their own thing, but Eddie was blushing and shaking his head, backing away from them in embarrassment.

Buck and Christopher advanced on him playfully, chasing him into the kitchen, which was thankfully empty. "Stop," Eddie said, holding his hands up. "I'm not dancing in front of people."

"You were dancing before," Christopher said accusingly, as Buck nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, what gives, Edmundo?" he teased. "What's with all the secrecy? Have you been hiding special, secret abilities from us?"

"No," Eddie retorted, hiding behind the kitchen counter. "I just… took lessons when I was a kid."

Buck and Christopher exchanged a look. "Oh, really?" Buck replied, setting Christopher on the floor again. "That seems like a secret, doesn't it bud?"

"Yeah," Christopher agreed. "Show us, Dad!"

"Yeah, show us," Buck added, blocking Eddie's exit, so he was trapped inside the kitchen.

Eddie shook his hips a bit, and then turned his back on them in embarrassment. "Stop," he begged. "Not here, okay?"

"Oh, Dad," Christopher said, suddenly concerned, stepping over to press his head against Eddie's waist. "I'm sorry."

Eddie's hand went to pat his head automatically, but he shot Buck a wicked look over his shoulder. "I think Buck needs to say that he's sorry."

Buck folded his arms across his chest, tilting his chin up defiantly. "Using your child against me."

"It's the only thing that will work." Eddie smirked at him.

"Buck," Christopher complained. "Apologise."

Buck let out a breath, and then stepped into the kitchen to throw his arms around Eddie's shoulders in an exaggerated hug. "Oh, I'm so sorry," he said, as Christopher giggled. "I'm so very, very sorry, Edmundo, please forgive me, por favor."

"Quit it with the Spanish," Eddie admonished him, but inexplicably tucked his head against Buck's shoulder. "Stop bullying me."

"Stop bragging about your dancing abilities and then not showing us what they are," Buck retorted.

"Stop hugging me so damn tight," Eddie complained, wrapping his arms around Buck's chest and squeezing pointedly.

At this Christopher was laughing hysterically, his head thrown back.

"Stop acting like you're stronger than me," Buck said playfully, and to make his point, he used brute strength to lift Eddie up and off the floor, laughing as Eddie struggled to free himself. "I win."

Eddie managed to break out of his grip and pushed him away good-naturedly. "Yeah, this time," he said, rolling his eyes, "but I can still bench you under the table."

"Oh, you want to go for the title, do you?" Buck asked, without really thinking about it, and Eddie went bright red.

He paused, rubbing the back of his neck, and said, "Yeah, why not?"

And suddenly Buck had no idea what they were even talking about anymore.

"No more fighting," Christopher said suddenly, and they both looked down at him with surprise. "Let's go eat some more cake."

"Yeah, let's do that," Eddie said with relief, pushing past Buck – but letting one hand trail behind, until it was wrapped around Buck's wrist, tugging him along with them.

_Holy shit,_ Buck thought, suddenly tingling all over.

~~

At Eddie's truck, after the party, Buck stood off to the side while Eddie strapped Christopher into the backseat. "All right buddy," he said, "say goodbye to Buck. You won't see him again until after camp."

At that Christopher's face scrunched up, but Buck leaned in to give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "You're going to have an awesome time," Eddie heard him say. "Don't worry about your Dad, all right? I'll keep him company."

"I'll miss you, Buck."

"I'll miss you too, buddy, but I'm jealous of all the fun stuff you're going to do."

When Buck stepped away from the car, closing the door, he turned away from Eddie quickly. Eddie heard him sniffle, and then he wiped his eyes.

"It's only two weeks," Eddie said to him gently, trying not to laugh.

"I know." Buck cleared his throat and turned to face him, his eyes shiny. "Just gonna miss him, that's all."

"You're such a softie," Eddie said affectionately, opening the driver's side door. "I'll see you tomorrow night. I'm picking you up at six."

"You're picking me up? You don't just want to meet at the bar?" Buck asked quizzically.

Eddie shook his head. "No, I've got something else in mind," he replied, climbing into the car. "Wear something casual, okay? That you can move around in."

"Eddie, what the hell are we doing?" Buck asked, his face scrunched up in confusion.

Eddie pulled the door shut, but leaned out the window. "Finally determining which one of us is better, faster, stronger," he teased. "So put your game face on, Buckley."

Buck's eyes lit up. "Can't wait," he said, shoving his hands in his pockets. "See you tomorrow."

~

The Dave & Buster's at the Howard Hughes Centre was bustling when they arrived. Buck was like a little kid, practically bouncing after Eddie and into the building. "Play first, eat later?" Eddie asked him, leaning in close so Buck would hear him over the noise.

Buck nodded eagerly.

"Have you been here before?"

"No, first time!" Buck exclaimed, his hand on Eddie's back. "I always wanted to go! We should've brought Chris with us."

Eddie paid for their tickets, Buck leaning in beside him, and when the attendant had her back turned, he said, "It's not a date if Chris is here with us."

At that, Buck's eyebrows flew up, and his face went pale. "A… date?"

Eddie nodded, a little nervously. "Yeah. This is a date."

"Eds."

"Didn't know how to ask you," he said, taking his change from the girl behind the counter, and handing Buck a pile of tickets. "What was I gonna say? Hey Buck, you want to date me? I just thought I'd trick you into it."

Buck was grinning, following Eddie through the crowds and into the arcade. "That's a cunning plan," he said admiringly. "But you could've just taken me out for a drink, and I would've been all yours anyway."

Eddie grinned at him nervously. "I didn't know what you'd say."

"I'd never say no to you, Eddie," Buck said seriously. "You wanted to ask me out? How long for?"

"A while…" Eddie shrugged. "I don't know. A while, I guess."

"How long is a while?"

"I don't know." Eddie smiled, chuckling when Buck slipped an arm around his shoulders, pulling him close. "What are you doing?"

"I can do this now, right?" Buck asked, his eyes bright. "I can touch you?"

Eddie suddenly felt breathless. "You've been wanting to touch me?"

"Yes."

"Oh." He was bright red, for sure, unable to meet Buck's eyes. "You've been thinking about this too, then?"

"Yes," Buck said again, insistently.

"You could've said something."

"I've been flirting with you for months."

Eddie blinked up at him, shaking his head. "No."

"Yes," Buck said again, firmly. "Yes, Eddie. Since after we made up… since you let me back in."

"I never kicked you out, you know."

"You did, and it's okay." Buck gave him a long look. "You're the most important person in my life."

Eddie sucked in a breath, and was shaking when he released it. "Maddie."

"No. It's you, and Chris." Buck suddenly pressed his lips to Eddie's temple. "Come on. They've got laser tag. I'm going to kick your ass."

Eddie let Buck drag him across the room, and it was only then that he realised that Buck was holding his hand. They were holding hands. _Holy shit._

~~

It's just that he was so fucking _happy._ He couldn't stop grinning, all night, even after Eddie beat him resoundingly at laser tag. The skill test games were where Buck shone, and they were in a mad competition to beat each other, moving from one machine to the next.

Finally, after Buck demolished Eddie at a car racing game, Eddie turned to him and said, "I'm losing because I'm so hungry, that's all."

Buck replied smartly, "Excuses, excuses."

"I think we should get some food and then go for round two," Eddie said. "You want a beer?"

"Yeah, of course."

They left the car game, and Buck let Eddie find them a table while he went to the men's toilets. After taking care of business he took stock of how he looked – sweaty and red in the face, but grinning like a fucking fool, and tried to calm down. He'd taken a couple of selfies with Eddie throughout the night, so he posted them to Instagram as he made his way back through the bar. Eddie had grabbed them a booth in the back, and he was studying the menu when Buck rejoined him.

"I got hit on," he said, lowering the menu to raise his eyebrows at Buck. "The waitress thinks I'm cute."

"Wait until she sees me."

Eddie smirked at him. "I told her I was on a date. She didn't really care. Girls are a lot more aggressive than I remember them being."

"Do you want me to aggressively hit on you?" Buck asked, arching his eyebrows. "I can. I'm good at it."

Eddie bit his lower lip, his eyes twinkling. "Go on, then."

Buck cleared his throat. He sipped his beer, rolled his shoulders, and then met Eddie's eyes. "So, I haven't seen you in here before."

Eddie sat back in his seat, lifting his chin slightly. "I'm not from around here."

"What brings you to LA?"

"Work," Eddie replied, and then added in a low voice, "Is this the best you can do?"

Buck held up a hand, leaning forward. "I'm guessing from that accent… Texas?"

Eddie arched his eyebrows. "El Paso," he said, playing along. "I just got to town last week. I'm going to be an actor."

"I can tell. Your face is perfect for the big screen," Buck said smoothly.

Eddie rolled his eyes, smirking. "And what do you do?" he asked.

"I'm a firefighter." Buck arched his eyebrows slightly, and Eddie laughed, turning his head to the side. "Can I buy you a drink?"

"No offence, Buck, but this stinks."

"If you were a girl, you'd be all over me," Buck said confidently.

Eddie rolled his eyes. "Then hit on me like I'm a guy, not a girl," he said pointedly.

"Oh, okay." Buck picked up his phone pointedly. He scrolled through the screens to find what he was looking for, and then turned it around to show Eddie. "So I'm just gonna open Grindr—"

Eddie's eyes went wide.

"And then I'm going to set my location to this bar," Buck continued, doing just that, "and then I'm going to wait to see what happens."

Almost instantly, messages began to flood in. He passed the phone to Eddie, who went bright red as he began to read them. "What the fuck… these guys are just asking you to hook up with them? Here? In this bar?"

"Yep." Buck tilted his head to the side. "That's all you gotta do to pick up a dude, Eds."

Eddie scowled, passing the phone back across. "Then you should delete the app," he said. "Because… of me."

"This is our first date. I don't know where this is going. You could be a creep." Buck was grinning as he closed the app, and then deleted it from his phone.

"Oh, ha ha." Eddie swigged his beer, looking around uncomfortably. "You really do that? Pick guys up like that?"

"No, not anymore. Haven't been with anyone since Ali." Buck turned his phone off, and placed it face-down on the table. "You?"

"Not since Shannon." Eddie made a face. "Buck, I've never done this before. I've never been with a guy. I have no idea what I'm doing, I just… know I like you. And there doesn't seem to be a reason not to try, because… you make me happy, and Christopher happy, so I thought… maybe there's something here we should look into, together."

"Well, you've got a way with words, Diaz."

Eddie let out a breath, shaking his head with amusement. "I'm trying to be real with you, Buckley. I'm trying to say that… you're my best friend, first and foremost, right? So… this is a big step."

"Yeah, it is," Buck agreed. "But it's not completely ridiculous, you and me."

Eddie nodded. "No, I've been thinking it makes a lot of sense, but I don't know how to do the rest of it. I don't know how to date. I don't know what to do to like… romance my best friend, I guess."

At that Buck laughed, and Eddie relaxed enough to smile at him, his eyes twinkling. "Well, you're doing a good job of it so far," Buck pointed out. "You picked a good spot for a first date, even if I didn't know this was a first date. And I'm not wearing my best first date clothes, by the way. You've seen me in this shirt before."

"Yeah, you could've tried harder, actually."

"I didn't know it was a date!"

Eddie shrugged. "I felt like I gave off the vibe that it was a date."

"No offence Eds, but you are impossible to read sometimes." Buck leaned forward, resting both elbows on the table. "And listen, I never thought… as much as I wanted to hope that you might be into me, you don't exactly exude gay vibes."

"I flirted with you," Eddie retorted, tilting his chin up defiantly. "Not my fault you didn't pick up on it."

"When?"

"When I first got here – I saw this big blonde fool and I thought, that's the one I want," he said, lifting his shoulders in a shrug. "But you were all hung up on your invisible girlfriend. You didn't notice."

Buck realised his mouth was hanging open, and closed it. "That was you flirting?"

"Yeah."

"No offence again, Eds, but you're not very good at it."

Eddie made a face at him. "I can flirt," he retorted. "It's your fault for not picking up on it."

"From my new friend, with a kid, still kind of married at that point—"

"You didn't know I was still married," Eddie pointed out.

"I never even looked at you like you were an option," Buck admitted. "Because… you weren't. And now you are."

"And you are, too."

"Yeah, I'm bi, but somehow I feel like you knew that without me having to tell you."

Eddie said quietly, "I just had a feeling… you'd say yes if I asked. So I wasn't worried about that."

"Arrogant."

He chuckled. "Yeah, I know you pretty well by now."

Buck swigged his beer, and leaned forward again. "And you, Eds? What's your deal then?"

"As in, sexuality? I don't know. I have no idea," he replied helplessly. "I don't know how to do this. I just want to be with someone that makes me happy, and that person is you. So I want you. I realised after Abby came back that… like, firstly, she's an idiot, because she never should've tossed you aside, and secondly, I… ah, fuck." He rubbed his face, sitting up straight. "Okay, listen. What you want – the family, the kids, the relationship, all of that – all of that stuff, we already have," he said, gesturing back and forth between them. "We've already built it, together, without even realising we were doing it. Right?"

Buck nodded. "Right."

"And I never meant for that to happen. I wasn't going to rely on anyone when I moved out here. I was going to do this on my own, and raise Christopher, and be the best dad, and never show any emotion and just be fucking great," he said. "And that… was a stupid plan."

"It was a bold plan; I wouldn't say it was _stupid._ "

Eddie grinned. "The thing is that I need you," he said. "I needed you. I needed someone to have my back for once; to not fight against me every step of the way. To support me. That's you, Buck. It's been you from the start. And then somewhere along the way I started to… fall for you; I don't know. I don't fucking know."

Buck leaned across the table. "Was it my singing that did it for you?"

Eddie laughed, shoving him back. "God, no."

"How are we going here?" the waitress asked as she returned to their table, her eyes trained on Eddie. "Are you ready to order?"

"We'll take a plate of hot wings," Eddie replied, "and a large pepperoni pizza to share. And another couple of beers."

"Sure thing," she said to him, scrawling it down on her notepad before finally glancing at Buck. Her eyebrows shot up, and she looked back and forth between them in shock. "That's… your date," she said with surprise. "Okay, wow."

"Hey," Buck said to her with an easy grin, reaching across the table to take Eddie's hand. "Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too," she said, still looking astounded, but also delighted. "Uh… I'll go get your drinks."

Buck flashed a dazzling smile. "No problem."

She left the table, and Eddie said to Buck, "Don't."

"Don't what?"

"You know what you're doing."

Buck entwined his fingers with Eddie's. "What am I doing?" he asked innocently.

"Staking a claim."

"Yeah, I am," he said, rubbing his thumb along Eddie's. "What of it?"

Eddie stared at him with dark, glittering eyes. "Fuck. We're so fucked."

"Yeah, we are." Buck turned Eddie's hand over, examining his palm. "So you've never been with a guy," he said slowly. "Never thought about it before me, right?"

"Right. And you've obviously… you're not in the same boat."

"No." Buck regarded him seriously. "Look, I know it's a joke that I was… sleeping around a lot, but… I was never unsafe, Eds. With guys or girls – I was always careful. I've been tested, since Ali. I haven't had sex with anyone since her, so I'm clean. You don't have to worry about that."

"I hadn't even given it a thought," Eddie said quizzically, and then asked in a low voice, "Should I get tested?"

"It couldn't hurt. I'm sure you're fine."

"Yeah, but… Shannon and I… we didn't use protection." Eddie was suddenly chewing on his lower lip nervously. "I'll get tested too."

"She was your wife, Eds."

"Yeah, but we'd been separated for a long time, and I never asked her if she cheated on me while we were apart." Eddie gave Buck an unhappy look. "I wanted this night to be perfect, you know. And now I feel like we're getting too serious."

"Then let's stop being serious," Buck suggested, releasing his hand. "What else did you have planned for tonight?"

"I don't know. I haven't been on a first date in ten years."

"You want to eat some dinner, and then have another round on the machines, and then make out with me at my place after?"

Eddie swallowed nervously, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down. "You want to make out with me?"

Buck leaned across the table and whispered, "Fuck yes."

Grinning, Eddie ducked his head shyly. "Okay."

"You're so cute, Eds."

"Stop it."

"I can't believe you asked me out on a sneaky date. What until the others find out." At that Eddie stiffened visibly, and Buck paused, searching his face worriedly. "Eddie. What's wrong?"

Eddie couldn't meet his eyes. "I don't want to tell them," he admitted, shaking his head. "And I know that's wrong. I know it'll be hard. I understand if it's a deal-breaker for you, but Buck… I can't do this if they're going to be making bets or teasing us or… watching us constantly. I don't want to be scrutinised. I just want to be with you, but I don't want… I don't want an audience while I figure my shit out."

Buck nodded, entangling their fingers again. "Okay," he agreed. "That's fine."

"It's not though."

"It is. Whatever you want," he said emphatically. "Because you know I don't care what anyone thinks, but I do care what you think. So if this is what makes you comfortable, then okay."

"I can't ask you to—"

"To do what? They don't know I'm into dudes anyway," Buck replied indifferently.

"Are you even capable of playing it cool?"

"I've had a crush on you for a while," Buck replied. "I can pretend a little longer that nothing is happening. As long as you need, Eds."

Eddie smiled at him, a sweet smile that lit up his eyes. "Okay," he agreed. "Thanks."

"You can make it up to me with kisses."

~~

They finished at the arcade, and Eddie drove them back to Buck's apartment – why that was the agreed upon location he wasn't sure, but that was where they were going, and he was nervous. The radio was playing, and when ' _Pony_ ' by Ginuwine came on, Buck reached over to turn the volume up.

Eddie immediately lowered it. "Stop it."

Buck grinned at him from the passenger seat. "What?" he asked innocently.

"Stop it. I know what you're doing."

"It's a sexy song, isn't it?"

"Shut up." Eddie tried to focus on the road, ignoring Buck's hand on his knee.

"Did you ever think about me, Eddie?"

"No," he replied stubbornly.

"I thought about you."

He really wanted to keep his eyes focused ahead, but he couldn't help but glance at Buck – Buck, who was half turned in his seat, practically _lounging_ , smiling at Eddie like the cat who got the cream.

Eddie said, shifting in his seat uncomfortably, "Well, I don't have a response to that."

"You never looked at me? In the showers?"

Fuck, of course he had. Buck was gorgeous. He had eyes; of course he'd looked, once or twice, but he'd never focused on it because if he had… he would've gotten hard. So he gritted his teeth and said, "No."

"Liar." Buck's hand snaked up his thigh.

"Are you going to be like this all the time?"

"Do you want me to be?" Buck asked seriously.

Eddie glanced at him again, letting out a breath. "Yes."

"I'm going to blow you," Buck said suddenly, and laughed when Eddie jerked in his seat with surprise.

Sweat was beading on his forehead. "Will you just let me get us there in one piece?" he begged. "Stop it."

"How long has it been since you had a blow job, Eddie?" Buck's hand slid up even further.

Eddie bit down hard on his lower lip, eyes trained on the road. "I don't know."

"Tell me."

His lips trembled as he whispered, "High school."

"Fuck," Buck breathed. "Really?"

He practically snapped, "Yes, I feel like you should know that I haven't slept with all that many people. I was with Shannon for a long time, and before that—"

"Hey, you don't have to justify yourself to me," Buck replied. "This isn't a competition."

They pulled to a stop at a red light, just around the corner from Buck's apartment. Eddie kept both hands on the steering wheel, but he was hard – and Buck knew he was hard as well, from the way he was licking his lips. And suddenly he had a flash of what his father would say if he had any idea what Eddie was about to do, and that thought made his stomach flip.

"Holy fuck, I am terrified." Eddie licked his lips, unable to look at Buck. "I'm freaking out."

"Hey, we don't have to do anything," Buck replied, instantly reassuring, sitting up in his seat. "I'm just playing with you. I won't do anything you don't want me to do."

"I want you to do everything. I just don't want to feel like this. Like it's wrong." Eddie could feel a lump rising in his throat. "I'm a father, and I've been so damn respectable, and…"

"And your kid is away at camp," Buck cut in, "and you are allowed to have sex."

"With a guy."

"Yes, with a guy. With a girl, with a guy – with whoever. Sex isn't a bad thing."

"But shouldn't I be at home by myself, waiting for Chris to come home?"

Buck said gently, "Eddie, is that what you think Chris wants you to do? Just sit there and wait for him? That would bum him out."

Eddie nodded. The light turned green, and he put the foot on the accelerator again. "You're right."

"And look, we don't have to do anything. If you just want to drop me off—"

"No, I'm coming in." Eddie took a deep breath, glancing at him determinedly. "I'm coming inside."

Buck grinned. "Okay."

"I want to make out with you."

"Well, okay, but I should tell you that I will not sleep with you on a first date," Buck teased, and Eddie relaxed a bit. "I'm not easy, Edmundo. You will not get me in bed."

"I bet I will."

Buck laughed, and then gestured for Eddie to pull into the entrance to his building. "Here, pull up in the visitor's parking. Don't park on the street. The guy in the house across the road has been a real dick about people parking in front of his place."

"Okay."

"And if someone stops in, they won't be as likely to see your car." Buck patted his knee. "I'll get you a pass so you can park underneath."

"You're acting like this is going to be a regular thing, me coming to your house."

"It already is a regular thing," Buck replied, undoing his seatbelt. "You're here all the time."

Once they were out into the fresh night air, they fell into step beside each other. Buck bumped his shoulder against Eddie's affectionately, and then led him up the stairs to the second floor where his loft was. Eddie waited while Buck unlocked the door, holding it open so he could step inside.

The air-conditioning was already on, and Buck had left a light on in the kitchen. He threw his keys on the counter and kicked his shoes off, as Eddie wandered over to the kitchen counter, feeling tense.

"Hey," Buck said to him, and Eddie turned to look at him. "Slow as you want, Eds. If you just want a beer and to sit on the couch, we can do that."

He nodded, chewing on his lower lip, looking around the apartment. He'd thought about this moment a lot, and now that it was here, he wasn't sure what to do. Buck was watching him uncertainly, and when their eyes met, Eddie thought clearly, _Fuck it._

He closed the distance between them and pulled Buck in – their lips met, tentatively at first, and then they were _kissing_ like he'd never kissed anyone before. This was _Buck_ , he was kissing _Buck_ and nothing had ever felt so right. Buck made a noise, sliding his arms around Eddie's back, but they stumbled back a little, losing their balance, and bumped into the wall near the front door.

All Eddie could taste was beer and pizza, and Buck was laughing against his lips. They parted long enough for Buck to say, "I'm sorry my breath stinks," and for Eddie to reply, "God, mine does too," before they were kissing again. Buck's hands were all over him – sliding up and down his back, feeling his muscles, gripping his hips, pushing his shirt up so he could touch skin. Eddie grabbed him as well, marvelling at the hard muscle between his fingers, at how firm and warm Buck was.

He was turned around and pushed up against the wall, and Buck's knee thrust between his legs. All rational thoughts flew out of his head when Buck undid the top few buttons of his shirt and then ripped it apart, sending buttons scattering on the floor. Eddie pulled away long enough to protest, "Hey, this is my date shirt," before groaning when Buck claimed his lips again, driving his tongue into his mouth.

Buck's hands were on him now, on his chest and stomach, searching his body – for what, Eddie didn't know. Maybe familiarising himself with it, maybe… fuck, he couldn’t really focus on anything other than the heat between his legs and the little noises Buck made deep down in his throat as they kissed.

His brain was foggy, over-stimulated, but he realised they were going to have sex – definitely, they were going to have sex, and he wanted it. He hadn't been touched by anyone in so fucking long, he was dying for it, and Buck was more than obliging. Eddie's shirt was hanging off his elbows, and then it slipped off and to the floor, and Buck moved from his mouth to his chin to his throat to the nape of his neck, sucking each new spot he found. It felt amazing, fucking amazing, and Eddie realised he was moaning, and tried to get himself back under control again.

"What do you like?" Buck asked him suddenly, lifting his head. "What do you want?"

He could hardly speak. "I don't know."

"If I do something that you don't want, you'll tell me, right?"

He nodded, but there was nothing he didn't want.

Buck studied his face and then smiled at him, pulling his shirt up and over his head. Eddie's hands went to his chest automatically, desperate to touch him. Buck watched him with hooded eyes, and then murmured, "I have dreamed of this."

Eddie nodded, licking his lips. "Me too."

"You are so hot."

At that he laughed, blushing. "You are. You're… I can't even look at you some days, you're so… fucking beautiful, Buck."

"You think I'm beautiful?" Buck sounded surprised. "No one has ever said that."

"I think you are." His hands went to Buck's belt buckle, and he tugged on it lightly. "I just want… I want this, I just want… I need you. Can we go upstairs?"

Buck nodded eagerly. "I changed the sheets today," he boasted, and Eddie laughed. "Almost as if I knew I was going to get lucky tonight."

"Is that how you see this? You getting lucky?"

"Yeah, the luckiest," he replied, and kissed Eddie again, nipping at his lower lip. "Come on." Buck held onto his hand as they went upstairs together, leaning over to flick on the lamp beside the bed. He turned around, lifting Eddie's hand to his chest and dragging it down to his belt buckle. "Is this okay?"

Eddie nodded. "You don't have to ask. I'm okay. Just take your fucking clothes off so I can see you."

Buck's eyes lit up. He released Eddie's hand and then undid his belt, yanking it out through the loops. His pants and boxers were off next, bundled up on the floor with his socks, and when he was naked he let Eddie examine him, turning around, preening under his gaze. He was hard already, his cock curved upwards, and Eddie's mouth was dry. _Holy fuck._

"Like what you see?" Buck asked him quietly.

He nodded, his hands going to his own belt. Buck watched him with glittering eyes, but when Eddie paused, suddenly nervous again, he took a step forward. "Let me."

"You just want to touch me again," Eddie said hoarsely. "Right?"

"Eddie, I want to touch every single little piece of you," Buck replied seriously. "If you let me."

He let out a breath. "Yes."

"You're so hot," he said, hooking his fingers in Eddie's belt. "So handsome. You know that?"

"No."

"You are. I can't believe… I can't believe you want me. Like, is this real? Pinch me," he urged, breaking the tension, and Eddie laughed. "No, seriously – pinch me."

So he did, lightly, on the fleshy part of his arm. Buck hopped away, rubbing his arm, and then returned to sweep Eddie up into his arms – lifting him up effortlessly, and Eddie just went with it, just melted into his embrace and let Buck throw him onto the bed and cover him with his body.

"Oh god," he whispered, as Buck claimed his lips again. He was so fucking done for.

Buck wasted no time divesting him of the rest of his clothes, throwing them on the floor. He pulled away long enough, drinking Eddie in, licking his lips. Eddie pressed a hand to his face and groaned, knowing he was blushing like a fool, but any self-conscious thoughts were out of his head when Buck's lips pressed a hot, open kiss to his stomach.

"Oh my god," he said, propping himself up on his elbows. "Buck. I need a shower."

"No, you're fine, you're fine," Buck whispered, grinning up at him. "You smell great. You taste amazing."

"No, but, we were running around, and—"

"You're so cute, Eds. Get out of your head for a sec." Buck covered him again and kissed him, pushing both hands through his hair, tilting his head back.

It was at that moment that he knew he was done for, that there was no coming back for him from this. Nothing had ever felt _right_ the way this did, like he was always meant to be there. He'd always been the one to lead; always, and now… it felt nice, not having to. It was strange and exciting to be with someone as strong as him – maybe even stronger, but he'd never admit that. He liked the way Buck felt against him, liked how his hands felt against his skin – rough, strong and firm. He liked the way he kissed, with everything he had, as though he'd been dying to do it for years and he was finally getting a chance.

They rolled over on the bed and Eddie was finally on top with Buck underneath him, murmuring against his lips, making pleased little noises. Eddie lifted his head to examine his face, running his thumb over his birthmark, before finally doing the one thing he'd always wanted to do and pressing his lips to it.

Buck _moaned._

"You like this." Eddie kissed it again.

"Mmm."

"I like you like this."

"I like _you_ like this."

Eddie smiled at him, dropping down for another sweet kiss. Buck's hands slid down his back and over his ass, squeezing him lightly for a second before releasing. Their cocks were trapped together between them, but he was in no hurry to speed things along – wanted to take his time and examine Buck as closely as he could. Buck turned his head to the side and Eddie sucked his earlobe, trailing his lips down to his neck.

He liked the way Buck's hands trailed all over him; liked how Buck made little noises of encouragement when Eddie's lips found a particularly sensitive area. He liked the way Buck shivered beneath him when he swirled his tongue around his nipples; liked how he tasted and smelled, liked how hard he was – liked everything about it, and especially when Buck rolled them over again and kissed him, his hands wrapped loosely around Eddie's wrists.

Making out naked was nice, especially when Buck pulled away and smiled at him, with that special smile that was reserved only for Eddie. He bit his lip and said, "I can't believe this is happening."

"Me either." Eddie was feeling a little nervous again. "I was scared I'd freak out when you touched me, like… it's some kind of ingrained thing," he admitted. "But I just want you to touch me more."

Buck gave him a long look. "It's me," he said, placing his hand over Eddie's heart. "And I would never hurt you. And you would never hurt me."

"You really want to do this with me, Buck?" Eddie stared into his eyes, trying to read his mind. "You think that Chris and I… you think that we could be enough for you?"

Buck broke into a smile, and nodded quickly. "I think you're more than enough for me. You guys mean everything to me."

"You mean everything to me, you know. I can't imagine life without you." Eddie tucked a hand under his head, smiling up at him. "Your lips are all swollen."

"Yeah, you're going to give me a rash," Buck complained, but kissed him again. "Fuck, Eds. I'm really glad you asked me out on a date. I'm sorry I'm so easy."

Eddie snorted. "You really are," he said, raising his eyebrows. "No one's gonna buy the cow if you give the milk away for free."

Buck feigned indignation. "Take it back."

"The giving it away for free comment?" Eddie teased, resting his hands on Buck's biceps.

"No, the cow comment," Buck retorted, and with Eddie snickering, he pulled away completely, holding his hands up.

Eddie whined, reaching for him, but Buck shifted further away. "Come on," he groaned. "Don't tease me."

Buck grinned at him, raising his eyebrows. "You're just as easy as I am, you know. You're in my bed, Diaz."

"Well, you promised me a blow job," Eddie shot back.

"Oh, did I? That was before you called me a cow." Buck grabbed Eddie's left foot and tickled it, and when Eddie protested and tried to yank it away, he lifted his leg and pressed a kiss to his shin.

Eddie stared down at him, his eyes wide. "What are you doing?"

"I have spent two years," Buck said, pushing Eddie's legs apart, sliding his hands up his calves, "two fucking years looking at you. Do you have any idea how sexy you are? Because I swear to god you've been teasing me."

He smirked. "Well, maybe."

"You have." Buck bent over, dragging his tongue up Eddie's left shin to his knee.

He threw his head back, groaning.

"And the way you look at me," Buck said, his breath hot on Eddie's hyper-sensitive skin, "like you want to devour me."

"I don't." He did, that was the problem. He couldn't help but look at Buck _all the time._

Buck's head was between his thighs. He pressed kisses there, on either side, while Eddie shuddered against the sheets. "I can't wait for you to fuck me, you know."

"Oh my god."

"Hold me down and really fucking give it to me like I know you want to." Buck nipped at him.

Eddie was on fire. "Please, please…"

And then there was a hand on his cock, and he looked down to see Buck press his lips to the tip. Eddie gasped, and Buck met his eyes with a grin, and swallowed him down.

Jesus fucking Christ, it had been a long time – a really long time – and he couldn’t remember it ever being this good. The last time he'd been given a blow job was from his high school girlfriend, and Buck certainly wasn't a 16-year-old girl in the back of Eddie's father's pick-up truck.

Buck was worshipping him with his mouth, those bright blue eyes of his trained on Eddie, gauging his reaction, figuring out what he liked (suction) and what he didn't like (teeth, no teeth). He held onto Eddie's hips as he devoured him, and Eddie couldn't help but thrust helplessly into his mouth. And then suddenly Buck's lips were around the base of his cock and it was hot and tight and wet and he was coming with a shout, practically lifting off the bed, his vision almost blacking out.

When he recovered Buck was laughing, sliding back up, pressing his lips to Eddie's throat. Eddie had enough sense to throw an arm around his shoulders, but that was all he could manage until he felt Buck's erection slide between his slick thighs.

"Okay?" Buck murmured in his ear, and he nodded, gasping when Buck rolled his hips experimentally, and then began to thrust against him.

He was over-stimulated again, his whole body hot. Their sweaty skin slapped together as they moved on the bed. Eddie turned his head to the side to kiss him again, sliding one hand down his back to grip his ass. Buck let out a muffled grunt, and when Eddie rolled his hips to answer his thrusts, he moaned. "Buck," Eddie hissed in his ear, squeezing his ass again. "You're so fucking hot."

Buck bit down on Eddie's shoulder and came between his legs, and Eddie was laughing beneath him, kissing any patch of skin he could find.

~~

It was sometime after 1am, and Buck was… spent. He'd just spent hours rolling around in his bed with _Eddie_ – possibly the greatest few hours of his life to this point? He couldn’t remember anything better, because he could hardly think anymore.

His head was on Eddie's shoulder, his hand splayed on his chest. Eddie had a nice little patch of chest hair right above his nipples, and Buck liked to run his fingers through it. He couldn't think of one single thing he didn't like about him, actually.

"I'm done for," Eddie finally murmured. "You've wrecked me."

"We haven't even done it properly yet."

"I'll get tested."

"I mean, really," Buck said, "we should make the most of Chris not being here and just… fuck ourselves stupid, right?"

Eddie snorted. "Okay. So romantic of you."

"Well, I'm a romantic guy." Buck glanced over at the clock on the bedside table. "It's late."

"Can I sleep over?" Eddie asked hesitantly.

"You think I was going to kick you out?" Buck looked up at him and they both laughed, before Eddie pressed a warm kiss to his lips.

"You going to be able to keep your hands off me at work?"

"Yep." Buck was confident. "I've been doing it for two years."

"Yeah, but before you didn't know if I'd be into it." Eddie shifted so he was on his side, and they were facing each other. He ran his thumb along Buck's cheek, gazing at him seriously.

"You're into it now though," Buck pointed out. "You're going to give me a rash from all the kissing."

Eddie laughed. "Sorry," he teased, rubbing their noses together. "I'll be gentle."

"Mmm, I'd like that." Buck smiled at him, already on the verge of sleep. "Really happy you asked me out, Eds."

"Really happy you said yes." Eddie kissed his nose.

"My choice for date two, though."

"Okay. You tell me when and where."

**~*~*~**

_**Hen** _

"Buckaroo," Hen called from the balcony. "You're fifteen minutes late."

Buck threw her a wave as he passed between the fire trucks, but didn't respond. There was an extra spring in his step, and a dumb smile on his face – Hen wondered what that was all about.

"Hen, are you even listening to me?" Chimney asked from behind her. "I don't know what to do. Neither of our places are suitable for a baby. We talked about moving in together and then… the subject was dropped and I don't remember why—"

"Maybe don't bring up sex with Maddie when Buck gets up here," Eddie suggested from the other end of the table, focused on his phone.

"We weren't having sex. We were looking at baby names," Chimney replied smartly. "So what do I do?"

Hen rolled her eyes. "You're asking me? You know what you need to do. You two need to move in together, into an apartment with more than one bedroom. It's not rocket science. You're having a kid together. Maybe move in as well, I don't know."

"We can help you house-hunt," Bobby offered from the kitchen, where he was working on breakfast. "There are some nice parts of town where the prices are pretty reasonable."

"What about your place?" Chimney asked Eddie. "Did you buy or rent?"

"I bought it when I moved out here. Figured my parents would give me less shit if I owned it." Eddie didn't look up from his phone.

"So sell your place and buy a new one," Hen suggested, taking a seat across from Chimney. "What's got you all worked up?"

"I don't know, I'm just… do I ask her to marry me?"

Hen exchanged a look with Bobby, who held his hands up. "Well, she is having your baby," Hen said bluntly.

"Morning," Buck called as he climbed the stairs. "Sorry I'm late."

"Are you going to offer an excuse as to why you're late?"

Buck came to a stop, still buttoning up his shirt. "Well, I could lie and say that I was helping a little old lady cross the road," he said, "or I could be honest and say that I was watching TV and lost track of time. Which would you prefer?"

"The first one."

"So there was this little old lady who needed help crossing the road," Buck began, as everyone groaned. "And I assisted her with that, but it did make me late to work. Morning, Chim. Were you talking about asking my sister to marry you?"

"Hen brought it up," he replied, gesturing to her. "But I am reminded of the fact that if I was to ask for her hand in marriage, that would make us related. So…"

Buck grinned at him. "Just imagine," he said loftily. "You and me, brothers-in-law, bound together forever by the bonds of holy matrimony. It's beautiful."

"See, that's enough to make not want to do it," Chimney said to Hen, who laughed.

Buck joined Bobby in the kitchen. "Can I help?"

"You can start dishing the eggs out," Bobby said, passing him the pan. "How was your night last night?"

"It was good. I kicked Eddie's ass at Dave & Buster's," Buck replied.

Hen had seen the pictures on Buck's Instagram, so she looked over at Eddie, who was still on his phone. "That true, Eddie?"

"If he says it is," Eddie said with a smirk.

"Turns out that Eddie's not great at the skill testers," Buck bragged, carefully putting scrambled eggs on the plates set out on the bench.

"And Buck's not that great at literally anything else," Eddie teased, lifting his eyes for the first time to flash Buck a smile.

"Is this what you're going to do while Christopher is away? Let Buck take up all your time with nonsense?" Chimney asked Eddie, who raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Why don't you put yourself out there, man? Try to meet someone? Someone other than Buckaroo."

Eddie shrugged. "I've been out of the game a long time," he replied. "I have no idea how to use the dating apps or anything. I've spent all my time with you guys since I got here; how am I supposed to meet someone new?"

"That teacher," Hen pointed out. "You could ask her out."

He shook his head firmly. "No."

"You said she was pretty, and Christopher liked her," Bobby said, handing Buck the pan with bacon and sausages in it. "Here, Buck, dish these out as well."

"Christopher didn't like her that much," Eddie replied. He looked uncomfortable, leaning back in his seat, one leg crossed over the other. "And when I asked him about her, he said he didn't want me to date anyone. So I'm not. Shannon hasn't been gone that long, like… what am I supposed to do, replace her with a newer, more alive model? I can't do that to him. And what if it doesn't work out, and I've introduced him to this person who is suddenly gone from his life again?"

"Yeah, but you deserve to meet someone as well," Hen said gently. "You can't be worried about the worst-case scenario. What if you meet someone great?"

Eddie looked pensive, chewing on his lower lip. "I can't. He doesn't want me to date. He told me."

"He told you to have a good time while he was away."

"Well, that's where Buck comes in," Eddie replied, gesturing to Buck, who flashed him a grin. "And we're going to hang out. I'm all right, you know? I don't need to be chasing after women."

"The right person will come along one day," Bobby predicted, taking the pan out of Buck's hand and nudging him out of the way. "Here we go guys, come and get it."

Buck grabbed two plates and carried them over to the table, passing one to Eddie as he took the seat beside him. Hen was standing, stretching her arms over her head, not really paying attention – but suddenly noticing the way they smiled at each other, like they were sharing a secret.

So, what was _that_ all about?

**~*~*~**


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm always thinking about you, Buck," Eddie said in his ear. "Always."
> 
> "I'm all yours, you know."
> 
> "I know."

Eddie was pacing around his living room when car headlights lit up the house. Buck had arrived, and Eddie watched through the window as he leapt out of his Jeep and practically jogged up the front pathway to the house, a bottle of wine in his hand.

He let himself in, calling for Eddie, and when he found him in the living room he stopped and beamed at him. "Hey."

"Hey," Eddie replied, smoothing out his dress shirt. "You're early."

"I've been hanging out for this all day." Buck held up the bottle of wine, raising his eyebrows. "Come on. We're being _fancy._ "

"Fancy," Eddie said, wiping his hands on his slacks nervously. "That wine is like, ten bucks."

"It was _twenty_ ," Buck replied pointedly. "Get your wallet. We're going out."

"With a bottle of wine—"

"I've got more stuff in the car. Come on." Buck held his hand out. "Come on, Eddie."

Eddie took a step toward him and grasped his fingers, laughing when Buck dragged him in so they could kiss. Buck hooked his arm around Eddie's shoulders and pulled him in close, breaking apart for a second to whisper, "Hi," before dipping back in again.

When they parted, Eddie tugged on Buck's belt and murmured, "Sure you want to go out?"

Buck nodded, his eyes bright. "Yep."

"Okay…"

They kissed again, slow and sweet, and then Buck took him by the hand. "Let's go."

~

Eddie was surprised when Buck drove him all the way into the heart of the city. They parked in a parking structure and then took the elevator down, and Buck slipped his arm around Eddie's shoulders, guiding him down the street. He had his backpack draped over his shoulder; the bottle of wine safely stored inside.

Eddie had no idea where they were going, and when they arrived at an apartment building, he was totally confused. Buck pressed a button at the intercom and dialled a number, and a male voice answered, "Hello?"

"Hey Steve, it's Buck."

"Oh, hey buddy. I'll buzz you in." A second later the door unlocked, and Buck held it open so Eddie could walk into the lobby of the building. Their footsteps echoed on the marble floor as Buck led him to the elevator bank.

"What are we doing?" Eddie asked, looking around uncomfortably.

"You'll see." Buck jabbed the up arrow, waiting for an elevator to arrive. When the doors opened, he waited until Eddie was inside before stepping in pressing the button for the 25th floor. And then he turned to Eddie, slinging the backpack over his shoulder, and said, "Steve's a guy I dated when I first moved to LA. He works for the Coast Guard now, but we were in training for the Navy SEALS together. He's married and has a kid, so I don't want you thinking that I've brought you to a seedy orgy or something."

Eddie folded his arms across his chest. "Where have you brought me?"

"I just need to get a key from him, and then you'll see. He's a nice guy. I catch up with him and his husband every couple of months for a drink."

"You never mentioned them before," Eddie pointed out. "What other secrets are you keeping?"

Buck gave him a sly grin. "You'll have to wait and see."

The elevator came to a stop and the doors opened. Buck took Eddie by the hand and led him down the hall, stopping at apartment 2510 and knocking on the door.

It opened almost immediately, and a tall, lanky guy with dark red hair answered with a grin. "Hey Buck," he said, stepping out to pull him into a hug. "Good to see you, man."

"Yeah, you too," Buck said cheerfully. "Hey, this is Eddie Diaz. Eddie, this is Steve Hampton."

"Ah, the one you're always talking about," Steve replied, holding his hand out so Eddie could shake it. "Nice to meet you, man. You want to come in for a sec and hold the baby?"

Buck's eyes lit up, and he gave Eddie a hopeful look. He rolled his eyes and nodded. "Go on," he said. "I'm not going to stop you from holding a baby."

Steve let them into the apartment, and then his husband appeared – taller than Buck, with dark skin and eyes, cradling an adorable baby with a mess of curly hair that couldn't have been more than two or three months old.

"This is my husband, Derek," Steve said to Eddie. "Dez, this is Eddie Diaz. The one Buck's been talking nonstop about for two years."

Derek smiled warmly at him. "Nice to meet you, famous Eddie Diaz."

"What have you been saying about me?" Eddie hissed at Buck, who was already taking the baby from Derek's arms and cooing at it.

Buck said, totally focused on and enamoured by the infant in his arms, murmured, "Most of my war stories involve you, Eds."

Derek and Steve exchanged a look, and Steve said, "Pretty much all of his stories involve you. And Christopher – your son, I take it?"

Eddie nodded, shoving his hands in his pant pockets, suddenly nervous. "Yeah. He's at summer camp, so…"

"Eddie asked me out on a date." Buck lifted his head long enough to grin at Steve. "And I said yes."

"Of course you did," Steve chuckled. "You've only been pining after him for two years."

"And using our secret spot for a date," Derek pointed out, leaning over Buck's shoulder to gaze down at his child adoringly.

"Well, Steve offered it, so I said yes. It's not my fault you live in this amazing building." Buck swayed back and forth. "What's her name?"

"Katherine," Derek replied. "After Steve's grandmother."

"Oh, that's nice." Buck handed her back reluctantly. "She's a cutie. I'm really happy for you guys."

"I'm really happy that this is finally happening," Steve said, tilting his head towards Eddie. "Although Buck, I can't possibly imagine why you were attracted to him."

Eddie couldn't help but blush, looking away awkwardly. Buck said sweetly, "He's the best thing that ever happened to me."

"Oh, Buck," Eddie groaned, embarrassed. "Stop."

He heard Buck laugh, and then his arm was around his shoulders again. "Are you sure it's okay if we go up there? We're not going to get run off by security or anything?"

"No, you'll be fine," Steve replied, passing over the key. "The stuff you need is in the wooden box near the door. Just slide the key under our door when you leave for the night, and try not to set off the security alarms, okay?"

"I can't promise anything."

"And hey, if this continues to be a thing," Derek said, following them over to the door, "we should all get together properly. I feel like we've heard a ton about you, Eddie, but you know nothing about us."

"Literally didn't know you existed until today," Eddie replied apologetically.

Steve clucked his tongue at Buck. "You still doing that? Keeping secrets?"

Buck shrugged. "I'm a complicated guy."

Eddie wondered what other secrets he was hiding.

"It was nice to finally meet you," Steve said, holding the door open for them. "Take care of him. You've got a good one there."

Eddie glanced up at Buck, who looked embarrassed. "Yeah, I know," he said quietly. "I will."

They said their goodbyes, and Buck led Eddie back down the hall to the elevators. Eddie slipped his arm around Buck's waist, leaning against him while they waited. "You've got secrets I don't know about," he said. "Were you ever going to tell me about them?"

Buck smiled at him. "Maybe one day," he replied.

"Who else have you got in your life that we don't know?"

"A couple of other people. Everyone's busy with their own lives these days, so… that's why I'm with you guys, most of the time."

"They know all about me."

"Yeah, well… you're all over my Instagram," Buck replied, as the elevator doors opened. "Any time I'm doing something, it's usually with you and Christopher."

"But Maddie doesn't know them."

Buck shook his head, pressing the button for the top floor. "No."

"Why, though?" Eddie pressed him. "I mean, you know why I want to keep this a secret, but it's _you…_ why doesn't anyone know you date guys?"

Buck had a strange expression on his face. He finally said, "Listen, I'll tell you about it, but… this is our second date, and I need to set it up so it's all special and everything, and you feel properly romanced. Okay?"

"And then you'll tell me."

"Whatever you want to know, Eds. For you, I'm an open book."

"So if I'd asked you a month ago—"

"I would've told you the truth." Buck pulled him in and kissed him firmly. "I've never lied to you, Eddie. Not once. About anything. I'm not going to start now."

"Then where are we going?" Eddie asked, grabbing Buck by the hips. "Huh?"

"Just to see the view. That's all."

~

The view was impressive. They were on the roof of the building, outside, surrounded by the other skyscrapers in the centre of the city. Eddie snapped a few pictures on his phone to show Christopher while Buck set up, and when he turned around there was a blanket laid out, a Bluetooth speaker, some pillows and candles, and Buck was carefully setting out some food.

"Look at you," Eddie said admiringly, and when Buck lifted his head and grinned at him, he took another picture. "How romantic."

"So romantic," Buck agreed proudly. "How about that view, huh?"

"I hope this isn't where you and Steve used to come—"

"No!" Buck exclaimed, and Eddie laughed. "No, it's not. They only moved into this building last year. They showed me this the first time I came over to visit. When you asked me out, it was the first place I thought of to bring you."

Eddie nodded, looking around again. "Sometimes I forget where we live."

"Yeah, me too. And then I'll watch a movie and I'll see something familiar and think, oh, that's just around the corner from work." Buck shifted so he was sitting cross-legged, and then patted the blanket beside him. "Come hither."

Eddie groaned, rolling his eyes, but joined him, perching on his knees. "What have you made? Is it edible?"

There was a spread between them – cheese, prosciutto, some fruits, crackers and a pot of relish, together with two stuffed sandwich rolls.

"It is," Buck said proudly. "We've got various cheeses here, and some fancy ham that the guy at the deli told me was good for this sort of thing, and some grapes, which I'm going to feed to you, and this right here is your aunt's famous tomato chutney – and, Eddie, if you're good, after we eat this, I'll give you dessert."

"And what's for dessert?" Eddie asked, arching his eyebrows.

"Me. And cake." Buck leaned in and kissed him impulsively.

"You want to have sex up here?"

Buck shook his head. "God, no. That's a recipe for disaster. No, I was thinking you could come back to my place and… I'd make it worth your while."

"As long as you're not late in again tomorrow." Eddie shifted so he was lying on his side, propped up on his elbow. He laughed when Buck plucked off a grape and pressed it to his lips. Eddie took a bite and then Buck dragged it along his lips, leaning in to kiss him hungrily. Jesus Christ, he'd never experienced anything like this – the way Buck was all over him, touching and kissing. He _loved it._ Never thought he could love something so much, or have it feel so right.

Eddie broke the kiss first, turning his head to the side, letting Buck nose against his cheek and neck. He said quietly, "God, Buck, what are we doing? Really."

"We're making out."

"They're going to find out."

"They don't know a thing." Buck undid the top button of Eddie's shirt, pulling his collar open. "Eddie," he murmured against his skin, "I think you're so fucking hot."

Eddie breathed out a laugh, sliding his hand down Buck's arm. "Yeah, you've made that pretty clear."

"I can't wait to get you in bed again."

"Me either," he said, his mouth dry. "If you keep doing that, we're going to have a problem, though."

"Just one more second," Buck mumbled, undoing another button to pull Eddie's shirt open, and pressing a hot kiss to his collarbone. Eddie dropped his head back, warmth spreading all through his body. He pressed his hand to the back of Buck's head and held him there, letting out a moan as Buck bit down gently.

"If you keep going," Eddie warned, "you won't be able to stop."

"Is that such a bad thing?"

"People can definitely see us up here."

"Let them look." Buck undid two more buttons, pushing Eddie's shirt open, sliding his hand inside. "I just want to touch you," he said, and Eddie gave him a _look_ , but Buck kept his hand in place, over his heart. "I've been thinking about touching you all day."

"So you want me to lie here with my shirt open so you can grope me whenever you want?"

Buck bit his lip. "Yes, please."

"Jesus, Buck, you're going to be the death of me." Eddie unbuttoned his shirt all the way and let it drape open, laughing when Buck suddenly had both hands on him, long fingers splayed against his skin. "Happy?"

"Happy." Buck smiled at him impishly. "I did pretty good today, right?"

Eddie settled back down onto his elbow again, ignoring the way Buck's hand slid down so it was resting just above his hip. He popped a grape into his mouth, chewed thoughtfully, and then said, "You were fine."

"I was really good."

"You were sitting a bit close in the truck."

"There just wasn't enough room for me to be comfortable," Buck replied. "And so I needed to move closer to you in order to find that comfort."

Eddie shook his head, amused, and studied the food in between them. "You went to a lot of trouble for this."

"Nah, I've got a guy at a deli. I said that I needed something to impress someone, and he put it all together for me."

"So you've got a guy at a deli," Eddie said, holding his hand up so he could tick things off with his fingers. "A guy in this building who you used to be a Navy SEAL with – how many other guys are there?"

"Well," Buck said seriously, still hanging onto Eddie's waist, "the guy at the deli is about sixty, so…"

"So you're not currently fucking him."

"No, not currently."

"And Steve, how long ago did you date him?"

Buck shrugged. "Four years ago? He met Derek right after we broke up. We only dated for a couple of months; figured out we were better as friends."

"And Maddie never knew?"

"Nope." Buck smiled at him, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Nobody knows about me."

"Why?" Eddie asked quietly.

"Um… I don't know. Thought it would give them more ammunition to make fun of me, I guess," he replied.

"You're young, good-looking… you can sleep around."

"Yeah, but… I never wanted that, you know. When I was sleeping around, I was still trying to find someone to date, who didn't just… want to use me." Buck gave him a long look.

"And then… Abby," Eddie said delicately. "And she didn't use you."

"No, but she did, though. I didn't realise she was doing it." Buck frowned deeply. "She didn't even apologise to me, Eds. She just took what she wanted and then… left. Like I'm not even worth an apology. Like I was so insignificant to her."

Eddie said quietly, "You're not insignificant to me."

"What does it say about me that my most important relationship is with my best friend and his kid?" Buck asked. "It's like you and Christopher came along and filled a hole in my life. And I worry every day that I'm taking up too much of your time."

"No, you're not."

"Because honestly, Eddie, ever since the day you started… I just want to be with you. You make me feel good. Being around you and Chris is my favourite thing in the world."

"That's because we're your family," Eddie replied. "Right?"

"Right." Buck smiled hesitantly at him.

"So why do you keep secrets?"

Buck lifted his shoulders lightly, sliding his hand back up Eddie's side and then down again. Eddie shivered, making a face at him. "Because… I've trusted people in the past I shouldn't," he said quietly. "And sometimes I think… it's easier to keep some things hidden."

"From me."

"No." Buck gave him a long look. "I've always told you the truth."

"I didn't know you were into guys."

"I didn't know you were into _me_ until you tricked me into going on a date with you," Buck pointed out. "So there's that." He dragged his hand up Eddie's chest to his throat, rubbing the nape of his neck with his thumb.

Eddie tilted his head to give him more access. "Why do you like touching me?"

"I just always wanted to do it. I want to touch you _everywhere._ "

Eddie wanted that too. Wanted to have Buck laid out before him and take him apart, piece by piece.

They were staring at each other. Buck's hand was on Eddie's throat, but he slipped it around to the back of his neck and pulled him in for another long kiss.

~~

They ate dinner, and Eddie grudgingly admitted that Buck had done a good job picking out the food – and he even allowed Buck to feed him cake and wipe his lips, though he blushed the whole time, like he thought someone might be watching them.

And then they sprawled out on the blanket together, and Buck rested his head on Eddie's shoulder, staring up at the buildings towering around them. Music was playing softly on the speaker – Buck had made a playlist especially for this night, picking songs that he hoped Eddie would love.

"What if there's an earthquake," Buck whispered to him. "Right now."

"Then we're fucked." Eddie let out a low rumble of laughter.

"Good way to go, though. With you." Buck tightened his grip on him.

"Yeah," Eddie agreed after a moment. "Yeah, we could do that."

They were silent again. Buck trailed his fingers down Eddie's chest – his shirt was still open, and Buck danced his fingers across his skin, watching as his chest rose and fell with every breath.

The music changed, and Buck tilted his head to watch Eddie's face as the first lines of the song filled the air.

_If I fell in love with you_ _  
Would you promise to be true  
And help me understand  
'Cause I've been in love before  
And I found that love was more  
Than just holding hands_

Eddie cocked his head, listening to the music, a faraway look on his face. "The Beatles," he said after a moment. "Right?"

"Yep."

"I didn't know you liked them."

"I like _everything._ "

_If I trust in you oh please  
Don't run and hide  
If I love you too oh please  
Don't hurt my pride like her_

_'Cause I couldn't stand the pain  
And I would be sad if our new love was in vain_

Eddie pressed his hand to the back of Buck's neck and said, "You picked this song deliberately, didn't you?"

"Yes. I picked every song deliberately."

"I thought it was just a random collection of love songs," he murmured. "I didn't realise… I didn't know you felt like this."

Buck propped himself up on his elbow so he could study Eddie's face. "You know I've been hurt. And you have, too."

"Yeah, we have."

"So… it's different, with us. Isn't it? Because… we've been friends for a long time, and you know me so well… better than anyone."

"Do I?"

Buck nodded. "Yes."

_So I hope you see that I_ _  
Would love to love you  
And that she will cry  
When she learns we are two  
If I fell in love with you_

Eddie let out a nervous breath and asked, "Can you turn the music off?"

Buck sat up and complied, worried that he'd overstepped. He perched on his knees, eyes trained on Eddie, trying to gauge his reaction. Eddie sat up as well, his shirt still hanging open, and looked around again, up at the buildings towering all around them. Buck whispered, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just…" he trailed off, and then let out a chuckle. "I just don't want to fuck this up."

"Who said you're going to?"

"I was a really shitty husband." Eddie met his eyes reluctantly. "I wasn't great at it. I don't know how to be in a relationship."

"Either do I," Buck pointed out. "My last two girlfriends dumped me."

"That was on them."

"Was it, though? You're kind of biased, Eds, when it comes to me. Maybe I'm not great at it either."

"Are you kidding me? You put this whole thing together, you made a playlist, you've been romancing me since we got up here, like… what's not to like about that?"

"Yeah, but… you've always…" Buck trailed off, trying to put the words together in his mind. "You've always been on my side, you know? And maybe… you're blind to me."

Eddie made a face. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know, maybe… now that we're not just friends, and we're trying to do this relationship thing, you'll see that I want too much, all the time; that like… I'll give everything to you," he said quietly. "And maybe you'll decide you don't want it, like they did."

Eddie stared at him. His mouth was agape, as though he couldn't believe what he was hearing. He finally whispered, "Are you kidding me? I want everything, Buck, all the time. Everything you have to give, and I will… give you everything as well. I just want you."

"Yeah, but—"

"No buts. Abby left because she had taken all she could from you and she didn't need anything else," he said, "and Ali was a nice girl, but you guys weren't ever really compatible. You and me, we're compatible. I never get sick of you."

"You did tell me I was exhausting, once," Buck pointed out.

Realisation flooded Eddie's face. He swallowed hard and said, "I was so angry at you, but… I didn't understand why you did what you did, and now I do. I didn't have all the information. I do not think you're exhausting, and I never did before that. I was in a bad place and… I took it out on you, and I'm sorry."

Buck shook his head, waving it away, and said, "I… I didn't need an apology. We've worked it out. We've both made amends, right?"

Eddie nodded. "Yes. But I'm still sorry."

"No, I'm sorry."

"No, I am," Eddie said imploringly, and then snorted with laughter. "Fuck. What are we doing?"

Buck grinned as well, flopping down onto his back again. "I don't know. I picked a nice song for you and you got all up in your head about it."

"You picked it on purpose though; it has a meaning. Everything you do has meaning," Eddie said, moving so he was lying down beside him, his head on Buck's shoulder. "You don't do things in halves. I love that about you."

"You do?" he asked hopefully. "Most people find it annoying."

"I've never found you annoying, ever," Eddie said firmly.

Buck hugged him close, just feeling so goddamn lucky and happy and all of those stupid, in-love things. He said, "You know what's funny? No one has ever treated me the way you do, and I only realised… during the lawsuit thing, how much that meant to me. When you weren't talking to me and I was alone, I was feeling like a piece of me was missing. I thought it was because of everything that was going on, but when we finally made up and you let me back in, it was like… I was home again, where I belonged."

"What do you mean, no one has ever treated you the way I do? I'm not that great."

"Yeah, you're a grump, especially when you haven't had a coffee, but that's all right."

"What does it mean though?" Eddie prodded him.

Buck shrugged. "I don't know. You don't want anything from me. You listen to me, and when I tell you something, you seem to know whether or not it's important to me, and you'll remember that for later. I know people think I'm funny and cute, and whatever, but… you're the first person I could really talk to." Buck could hardly put into words how he felt for Eddie. How happy he was that Eddie wanted to date him – and that had really come out of the blue, but he wasn't complaining.

Eddie said softly, "I never had a lot of friends. I feel like I've always been on my own. I never had anyone to talk to about my marriage shit, and… my parents giving us a hard time. And when Shannon left I was just kind of on my own. I never had any help until I moved here and met you."

"You're welcome."

Eddie snorted, poking Buck in the ribs. "Shut up."

"So what do you want to do, Eds?" he asked softly. "This isn't just sex."

"No. I knew it wouldn't be." Eddie's voice was low.

"And Christopher will be back in a couple of weeks…"

"We can't tell him, Buck. He'll say something to someone." Eddie swallowed hard. "I feel bad for asking you to hide."

"As long as I get to be with you, it's okay," Buck whispered.

"But… it's not right."

"What are you so scared of?"

He let out an unhappy laugh. "I'm scared of a lot of things, Buck. Mostly I'm scared of losing you, but… if my parents knew about this; about us? They wouldn't think it was okay."

"So we keep it quiet."

"But what if it gets really serious? What do I do then?"

Buck glanced down at him. Eddie had his face turned to the side, but when Buck tapped his cheek with his finger, he lifted his head to meet his eyes. "You'll have me," he said. "And I've got your back."

Eddie nodded. "I know you do."

"And for now… Eds, no one knows we're here. Nobody is wondering what we're doing; nobody thinks anything is going on. You and I have the whole weekend off. If we took off together, no one would question it. Would they?"

"No."

"We can have all the wild sex we want and no one knows," Buck said with a grin. "We can book into a motel somewhere and fuck our brains out, Eddie. It's you and me, y'know? And nobody knows. Isn't that kind of freeing?"

Eddie nodded, biting his lower lip. "Yeah, it is."

"You can do pretty much whatever you want to me, you know," Buck said suggestively. "Wrestle with me, hold me down… you can get rough. I'll fucking love it."

Colour flooded his cheeks. "Really?"

"Yeah, man. The beauty of this—" Buck gestured back and forth between them, "is that we can both take it. And I'd love for you to take me the way you want to. I know you want to."

"Fuck," Eddie breathed. "You're…"

"Talking a lot of sense, I know."

"No, I've never heard you talk like this… and I'm a father," Eddie said, somewhat accusingly, as Buck began to laugh. "And you want me to fuck your brains out?"

Buck raised his eyebrows at him. "God, yes."

"So we should probably head back to your place then," Eddie suggested, "if that's what we're gonna do."

"Is that what we're gonna do?"

"I'm game if you are."

~

Their roles reversed, Buck drove them back to the loft and parked in the underground car park. They were silent as they climbed the stairs, Eddie leading, but once the door was open and they were inside the apartment, Eddie practically ripped Buck's shirt off him and shoved him up against the wall.

When they kissed, there was nothing sweet about it, and Buck practically melted as Eddie claimed him. God, he wanted this, wanted Eddie's hands all over him, his tongue in his mouth. Eddie tasted like chocolate and kissed like a menace, undoing Buck's belt deftly and yanking it out of his pants.

Somehow, through all the kissing and manhandling Buck ended up naked, but Eddie was still fully clothed, pressed up against him with his knee between his legs. Buck whined in his mouth, wanting skin-on-skin, wanting to feel him, but Eddie pushed him into the kitchen and up against the counter, turning him around.

"Holy shit," Buck gasped, as Eddie's hands slid down his back. "The condoms are upstairs."

"I'm not going to fuck you."

"Then what—"

Eddie suddenly grabbed fistfuls of ass, with both hands, and squeezed. Buck groaned, throwing his head back, as Eddie pressed up against him from behind, biting down hard on the back of his neck.

"Holy fucking shit."

Eddie licked a stripe up to his ear.

"You been thinking about this, Diaz?" Buck managed to ask, as Eddie released his ass long enough to grab him by the hips.

"I'm always thinking about you, Buck," Eddie said in his ear. "Always."

"I'm all yours, you know."

"I know."

"You can do whatever you want, Eds. Whatever you want."

Eddie chuckled, his teeth nipping at Buck's earlobe. "So trusting."

Buck moaned.

"Let's go upstairs." Eddie pulled away from Buck completely, and when Buck turned around breathlessly, he was already climbing the stairs, pulling his shirt over his head. So Buck followed, completely at his mercy, and at the top he watched Eddie shed his clothes methodically, kicking them to the side.

They stared at each other. Buck wanted _everything._

And then Eddie smiled at him brightly, and he was smiling back, and then they were laughing. Eddie strode towards him and kissed him again, pushing him over to the bed, sliding onto his lap, and Buck thought, _I'm so fucking lucky._

**~*~*~**

_**Bobby** _

Monday at midday found Bobby in the kitchen, whipping up lunch for the team, humming as he worked. He'd gotten in a little early, hoping to surprise them as they arrived with a hearty lunch of spaghetti and meatballs – Buck's favourite, he knew.

And Buck was the first to arrive, climbing the steps a little stiffly, with his phone in his hand. "Hey Cap," he said, sliding into a seat at the table. "Have a good weekend?"

"I did," Bobby replied, giving the sauce a quick taste before adding some more seasoning. "Michael had the kids, so Athena and I booked into a hotel in Palm Springs for two nights."

"Sounds romantic."

"It was." Bobby flashed him a grin. "And you?"

"I went camping with Eddie." Buck was focused on his phone, his tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth. "Trying to distract him until Christopher gets back."

"Oh yeah? Where'd you guys go?"

"Malibu. Did some hiking, caught the views, all that stuff." Buck set his phone down, looking around. "Where is everyone?"

"Chimney's car broke down, so Hen had to pick him up," Bobby replied, taking the pasta off the stove. "And I think Eddie just pulled up."

"Sweet." Buck stood, pocketing his phone. "Back in a sec." He descended the stairs – again, a little stiffly, Bobby noticed – calling out to Eddie as he strode into the station. "Yo, did I leave my Bluetooth speaker in your truck?"

Bobby chuckled, watching as Eddie groaned impatiently, turning on his heel to go back out to his truck, Buck trailing behind. He'd had a good feeling about those two, right from the start, even if things hadn't quite gotten off on the right foot. He was kind of proud of himself for bringing them together, the two inseparable best friends.

The food was ready by the time the rest of the team arrived, talking animatedly about their weekends off – Chimney and Maddie had decided to buy a place together, so their weekend was spent house hunting. Hen and Karen had apparently had an interesting time at a pottery class run by one of Karen's friends, and Hen was holding a misshapen lump of pottery that she said was a bowl. She handed it to Buck, who blinked at her.

"What's this?"

"I don't know, Buckaroo, but when I made it, I figured you could do something with it."

Buck raised his eyebrows and nodded. "Yeah, I'll… put coins in it. Thanks, Hen."

"Lunch," Bobby called to them, breaking up their huddle. "Garlic bread, anyone?"

"You've gone all out today, Cap," Chimney said gratefully, as the rest of the crew filed up the stairs to join them. "This looks delicious."

Soon they were all eating, seated around the table together. Hen and Chimney were on one side, Buck and Eddie on the other, and Bobby was at the head of the table. He looked at them and thought again how lucky he was; how nice it was that they weren't bickering for a change.

Hen said to Buck, "Where'd you go on the weekend?"

"Camping. With Eddie." Buck's mouth was full.

"Yeah, where though? Your Instagram was on fire this weekend. What'd you two do, climb a mountain?"

Eddie laughed, taking a sip of water. "Yeah, we did. We went to Malibu. Buck wanted to capture the sunset, which meant we had to climb down again in the dark."

"Nothing to it," Buck commented.

"You two are never going to meet any women if you spend all your time together," Chimney said to them.

"I'm trying to distract Eddie while Christopher is away," Buck protested. "Lay off us, man."

"How's Eddie going to ever meet the future Mrs Diaz with you hanging around?"

Eddie made a face. "First of all, I'm fine, thanks guys. And secondly, it was my idea to go camping. It was not my idea to climb down a mountain at night, but that's another thing."

"Hey, we made it, we didn't die, no bears ate us or anything."

"You did fall over a tree trunk though."

Buck raised his eyebrows. "Eddie, in my defence, that tree trunk was not there when we climbed up the mountain."

"Or you were showing off, being a big man, and didn’t see it," Eddie teased.

"Well, you know how it is." Buck was grinning as he tore off another piece of garlic bread. "Besides, Eddie's the one who tripped over his own shoelace and nearly fell into a stream, so… you know. We're both a little clumsy."

Everyone at the table was chuckling along with the story. Bobby picked up his fork, shaking his head good-naturedly at them. Boys will be boys. Hiking up a mountain certainly explained why Buck was moving so stiffly.

**~*~*~**

"Christopher!" Eddie exclaimed, holding his arms out.

"Dad!" Christopher practically shrieked, hurrying towards him. "I missed you so much!"

Eddie wrapped him in a hug, so fucking relieved he was back – two weeks was too damn long, even if he had been having the greatest sex of his life – and picked him up, trying not to cry. "I missed you too," he said hoarsely, because god damn it, the tears were going to start flowing. "I really missed you, kid."

They hugged silently, other parents and children all around, bustling and noisy. Christopher was crying as well, Eddie suddenly realised, because his shirt was damp.

"Okay," he said hoarsely, setting him back down on the ground. "We're back together, and boy, do I have a surprise for you."

Christopher's eyes lit up. "What is it?"

"Not what, but who," Eddie said, and pointed to his truck. Buck was standing there, beaming at them, his phone in his hands. Capturing it all, as always.

"Buck!" Christopher practically screamed, and Buck gave a little jump, holding his hands over his head.

"Christopher!" he shouted, and sprinted over to them, swinging Christopher up into his arms. "I missed you so much. Never go away again."

Eddie let them reunite, his hands tucked in his pockets. Buck set Christopher down, but knelt down with his back to him so he could give Christopher a piggyback, and Eddie found himself pulling his phone out so he could take a photo of the two of them.

"Come on," Buck said, tilting his head towards the car. "Your dad can get your bag."

"Oh, thanks," Eddie complained. "That's really nice of you, Buck."

Buck flashed him a cocky grin, bounding over to the car with Christopher on his back. Eddie shoved his phone in his pants pocket again and went over to the pile of luggage to retrieve his bag.

"Mr Diaz," a female voice said from behind him.

He glanced over his shoulder and found Ana Flores standing there, smiling warmly at him. "Oh, hey," he said, straightening up, Christopher's bag in his hand. "Nice to see you again. How come you're here today?"

"We had to do a head count on the kids to make sure everyone made it back," she replied. "How have you been?"

"Great. You?"

"Really good, thank you for asking. I heard Christopher had a fun time at camp."

Eddie nodded. "I can't wait to hear all about it. Anyway, good to see you again." He waved to her, turning to make his way over to Buck and Christopher, but stopped when she called his name again.

"Eddie? Before you go…" she trailed off nervously. "Technically I'm not Christopher's teacher anymore, and I was wondering if you might like to meet up for a drink one night?"

He paused, and then said gently, "Um, I'm seeing someone. Thanks, though."

Ana looked momentarily crestfallen, but she quickly smiled and shrugged. "That's okay. I just thought I'd ask. How long have you been dating her? Christopher never mentioned anything."

Eddie wanted to look over at Buck, but he forced himself to keep his eyes on her. "Not that long. I haven't told Christopher yet. I need to make sure it's the real thing before I introduce him."

"That's a good idea." Ana nodded at him. "Okay. Well, it was nice to see you again, Mr Diaz."

"You too." Eddie slung Christopher's bag over his shoulder, making his way to where Buck and Christopher were waiting near the car.

Buck's eyes were on Ana curiously. He gave Eddie a questioning look, but Eddie shook his head slightly, and then unlocked the car. "All right buddy," Buck said, opening the door and helping Christopher inside. "Let's go to your Abuela's house for lunch."

Eddie loaded Christopher's bag onto the backseat behind him, and then went around to hop in the driver's side. Buck slipped in beside him in the passenger seat, giving him another questioning look. Eddie shook his head again, but grinned when Buck reached out to squeeze his shoulder reassuringly.

Christopher filled them in on what had happened at camp the whole way to Abuela's house, answering every single one of Buck's questions – and there were a lot of them, like Buck was actually concerned that it was a child labour camp. He'd gone fishing in a canoe; he'd planted vegetables and helped cook dinner; he'd learned how to build a fire and toast marshmallows – and he wanted to do all those things with Eddie and Buck, as soon as possible, so he could show off.

As they pulled up in front of Abuela's house, which was already bustling with Eddie's extended family, Eddie turned to him and said, "You, me and Buck will go camping together, okay? And you can teach us what you know."

"Okay!" Christopher agreed happily.

They were greeted at the front door by Abuela, who lavished her attention on Christopher, and then completely bypassed Eddie to greet Buck. In fact, the whole family went out of their way to greet Buck, and it was then that Eddie realised that he'd been completely accepted by them, and had been for… months? Years? As long as Eddie had been inviting him for family dinners and barbeques – almost since the first day they'd met.

And then Abuela dragged Buck into the kitchen with her, and Eddie went out to the backyard to watch Christopher play with the kids, sipping a beer on the back steps. He glanced up when he felt a hand on his shoulder, and Pepa took a seat beside him, cupping his face and kissing his cheek. "Hey," he said to her. "Sorry I haven't been around much the last few weeks."

"Buck's been keeping you busy," she guessed, taking his hand. "We figured as much."

"And I picked up some extra shifts." Eddie swigged his beer. "How are you?"

"Oh, fine. Busy as usual. I'm glad our little boy is home with us."

"Me too."

"And how's Buck?" she asked, giving him a knowing look.

"He's great," he replied simply. "Abuela's got him working in the kitchen."

"And you're not seeing anyone special?"

He shook his head. "Nope."

" _Edmundo._ Why are you doing this? You're a young man. Shannon has been gone for over a year now. Why aren't you putting yourself out there?"

He gestured to Christopher. "Because of him. I'm not introducing him to someone if it won't work out. It'll just confuse him; make him think that he's not my number one priority."

Pepa admonished him with a look. "You don't think he knows that? What did he specifically want you to do while he was away?"

"Have a good time."

"And did you?"

Eddie nodded. "Yeah, I did."

"And who did you spend all that time with?"

He paused, and then said, "Buck."

She squeezed his hand, clasping it tightly. "You know, nobody will think any less of you," she said quietly. "If what you want is not what they expect."

He glanced at her quickly, and then looked out at Christopher again. "Buck."

"Yes. He is the one you want, isn't he?" she asked gently.

"No, we're just—"

"Eddie." Her voice was patient.

He sighed, shaking his head, pulling away from her. "It's not that simple. Pepa, please. Please… just let me figure it out, okay?"

She nodded. "We all want you to be happy," she said quietly.

"I am happy," he replied. "I've got Chris and Buck. I love my job. I love having you guys around."

"And you'll tell us when things change?"

"Yes," he lied. "I will."

~~

Buck's Jeep was at Eddie's house, so he returned home with them later that night. He'd spent the whole day at Eddie's Abuela's house, with the whole Diaz family, and was feeling full of food and love. Eddie had been a bit more subdued than usual, but as he drove them home, he briefly reached out and touched Buck's knee.

"Coming inside?" Eddie asked him as he pulled up out the front. "To say goodnight?"

"Sure," Buck agreed.

They helped Christopher inside, and Eddie sent him in for a bath before bed. Buck lingered in the kitchen, posting some pictures from the party at Abuela's on Instagram, and paused when Eddie slid an arm across his lower back and kissed his shoulder.

"Hey," Buck murmured, dropping his phone on the counter and turning so Eddie could embrace him fully. "Hey, sexy man."

"Sexy man." A smile tugged on Eddie's lips. He hooked his arms around Buck's waist and gazed up at him. "Spend the night."

"What about Chris?"

"I'll tell him we had a sleepover."

Buck paused, studying Eddie's face – the hopeful tilt of his head and the way his eyes were sparkling. He thought it probably wasn't a good idea, but he really wanted to stay – if only to sleep beside him. "Okay," he agreed. "I can sneak out before he wakes up."

"No." Eddie shook his head. "We'll have breakfast."

"Eds, I thought you didn't want to confuse him? Do you want me to sleep on the couch?"

"No."

"Then…"

"Just stay," Eddie said insistently. "Stay here tonight, with me, in my bed. Buck. He won't think it's weird to find you here in the morning. We'll put a blanket and a pillow on the couch and say you slept there, but just… stay with me. Please."

"I mean, you don't have to beg," he murmured, and Eddie laughed, pulling him in for a kiss. "Okay, okay, I'll stay."

~~

**Author's Note:**

> [The Beatles - If I Fell](https://youtu.be/F_80s6S_7Vw)


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